Divide the class into four or five groups. The task of each group will be to assign a letter grade and suggest revisions for the following short story, written by a high school sophomore. (Mention that the real name of the student has been deleted and replaced with Ben Dover.) The assignment given Ben was to create a short scene describing some incident, real or imagined.

          After groups have discussed the story and recorded suggestions for revision, have a spokesperson from each group share the group's comments and evaluation. After all the groups have commented, ask the class this question: "If the author of "Lost" later revised this piece, incorporating their suggestions, how much of a difference would it make in his grade?" Also, ask them which types of revisions they found most important for improving this type of writing.

          Tom was walking down the street. Suddenly he was dragged into an alley. He woke up three days later.

          He didn't recognize the room he was in. A girl came through the door. She was dressed in a nurse's uniform.

          "Must be a nurse," thought Tom.

          "How are you?" she asked.

          "Fine," said Tom. "But everything to me is a mystery. Where am I? Who am I?"

          Yes, Tom was a mystery. He couldn't remember a thing. His mind was blank. He was suffering from what doctors said was amnesia. One doctor explained to Tom that he had been flown from Dunkirk, Maine to Denver, Colorado for brain surgery. It was a difficult operation, but Tom had survived. Since no one knew his name, they called him Danny. From then on he was known as Danny.

          Danny felt confused. In three weeks he left the hospital, still confused. The doctors liked Danny, so they gave him a $4,000 loan and told him to return to Maine and try to find out who he really was.

          "Good idea," thought Dan, and he left.

          When Danny arrived in Dunkirk, he took a bus to the middle of town. Then, he walked up one street and down another. Again, he walked up one street and down another. All the streets looked the same. He was confused.

          That night Danny got a hotel room and went to sleep. The next morning, he stepped out on the street and was excited when things looked familiar. His memory stirred. He was happy because things looked familiar. Then he realized that they looked familiar because he was there yesterday.

          Days seemed to fly by. Danny was confused and sad. One evening it was getting late. Danny went for a walk in the darkness. The streets looked familiar, but he knew why. As he was walking back to the hotel room, all of a sudden, out of the darkness, a huge, black dog jumped from a bush. Danny thought the dog was up to no good.

          Soon Danny saw that the dog just wanted to play. He examined the dog as it followed him to the hotel. Suddenly, Danny’s memory stirred. Then it stirred again. He looked at the dog for a long time, very carefully, and it came to him that this was a Doberman Pincer.

          Danny tried to get the dog to go home. "Go home boy," he said, but the dog just looked at him funny. "Go home I said," said Danny. But the dog wouldn’t go. So Danny took the dog back to the hotel and they became good friends.

          One night the dog was eating dinner. Danny opened the evening newspaper and his eye caught a large ad that read,

          "Hmmm," thought Danny. "Could this be Big Luke? He doesn't seem that big."

          Danny didn't want to take the dog back. He liked the dog.

          "Finder's keepers," thought Danny. But Danny's honest up-bringing was fighting him all the way. So the next day Danny went to the address in the ad to return the dog.

          He rang the doorbell and some old lady answered the door. She looked familiar.

          "Oh, Oh," said the lady. "Herman," she yelled, "it's our son Tom. Oh Tom, I knew you would come back and I knew if anyone could find you it would be your dog "Big Luke."

          "I'm excited to be home," said Tom. "Ive been in Denver."

          "I'm so glad to have you back," said his mother.

          "Me too," said his father.

          Yes, this was Danny's mother and father. Dan's real name was Tom and his dog was really named "Big Luke." Tom's family would always be grateful to "Big Luke" for bringing Tom home.

          If students have been working with image grammar, this paper should generate numerous comments on concepts discussed throughout this book---the need for brush strokes, the lack of parallel structures and special effects, the incorrect use of conventions, the failure to limit the passage of time in story---all elements that could easily be improved with revision.

          After students have read and evaluated this piece, you may want to assign a rewrite---either for a group or for an individual---to illustrate the power of revising with image techniques.