The Types of Families in American Culture:

1. Nuclear Family - a mom who stays home a dad who provides for the family (Money) kids who go to school and are active all living in a house of their own. Less than 20%
2. Single Parent Families - either unmarried women having and keeping children, unmarried women having children and giving them to other family members to rear, or women working and caring for children after divorce. The fastest growing family form in the United States today (about 21% of the total).
3. Stepfamilies - reconstituted (custodial parent remarries someone with no children). -blended when two custodials remarry -binuclear families - when a divorced couple remarries others (approximately 15%)..
4. Two-Job Families - Everybody works We haven't kept up with family matters nor made arrangements for the children (nearly 45%)

1. responsible for the production and socialization of children
2. the first line of defense against deviant behavior
3. the first place that children learn morality and ethics.

• the development of marketable, productive skills
• the abilities necessary to relate to others in the society in nondestructive ways
• an orientation consistent with ethical and moral judgments.
If the family is ineffective in socializing its children
- the consequences are serious, for society and for children themselves
Children will be unhappy and society will crumble.
(a little drastic? Watch the evening news!)

The pie chart in the text shows 61% responding that they feel family life is "the most important element in my life." People always respond favorably to questions like this, however, the reality of our lives is a little different. There are other indicators that tell a story that departs from the Ideal.

To decide whether or not American Values support families and children's welfare, look at the evidence.

• we lie to children
• we speed through school zones
• we won't fund adequate child care
• our schools are in trouble
• SAT's go down every year
• fathers don't provide for their children
• family violence rates continue to climb

• poverty rate 11 to 25%
• academic achievement continues to decline
• suicide rate among teens has tripled from 2.3 per 100,000 to 8 per 100,000
• incidence of obesity increased by 15% to 30%
• delinquency cases are higher
• reported abuse and neglect is higher
• Aids and Crack-babies didn't exist in 1960 and now are correlated with promiscuity and drug use of parents.

• parents abdicating their roles.
• increase in number of single parent families
• increase in number of stepfamilies.

Children's Potential Effect on the Couple's Satisfaction with their marriage:

• Passage of time - monotony, routine, lack luster
• Children's Changing Demands
• -increased social schedules
• -changing needs due to maturation and growth
• -changing modes of discipline & displays of affection
• There is an increasing disturbance, or "noise" level in the house as children grow in years.

• Nature and flexibility of interaction habits (couple)
• Extent to which the couple have accomplished developmental tasks related to themselves and parenting.

Young --------------> Midlife <---------- Aging
Adult Children -----> Couple <------ Parents Children
• Older parents serve as role models to two generations trading some

financial support for advice
• The relationship can be painful and distant if:
• -there is unresolved resentment and conflict
• -midlifers have fear of having to be caretakers
• Instrumental Caregiving - become more of a social concern and less of a personal one.
• Launching of children - empty nest - situation most difficult for mothers who haven't prepared properly.

According to the age continuum by which many of us live:

-Last Child Born------------- Last Child Leaves --------Retirement
------ by 30----------------------by 48---------------------by 65-------80

Most of us will have 15 years left after 65!

Erikson's Epigenetic Principle states the stages of adult development to be:

1. young adulthood - intimacy vs. isolation - where we fall in love and marry.
2. middle adulthood - generativity vs. stagnation - where we bear and rear our children
3. late adulthood - integrity vs. despair - where we look back on our lives with concern that we've done a good job with the resources we've been given.

• Are our dreams fulfilled?
• Do people love us?
• Have we achieved all we wanted?
• Did we do right by our children, and are they doing well?

Into midlife by 50, successful crisis resolution includes:

• 1. a high quality of wisdom - what works/what doesn't
• 2. a high level of self-awareness
• 3. satisfaction with work
• 4. being a mentor for young people - no kidding!
• 5. maintaining activity, adaptability, and self-approval

The female climacteric (menopause defined as: the discontinuance of menses - loss of estrogen - Symptoms: hot flashes, dizziness, aches & pains, fatigue, sleeplessness, anxiety, intolerance, lack of concentration), was once thought to be the signal of the end of sexuality. The good news is that while the symptoms can be a real bother, sexuality is a couple thing right to the end (if the couple wants it).

Reasons for decline in interest in sex, for women and men as they get older :

• 1. illness
• 2. decline in energy
• 3. fewer sexual outlets - divorce, death, illness
• 4. monotony or boredom

Adapting to late life

15% of the U.S. population (30 million) is 65 years old - 75% of the pop. will live past age 65.

Disengagement - Letting Go - gracefully accepting mortality - a popular theory in the 1970's "Disengagement Theory" meant moving out of the main stream. Actually people want to stay in the main stream engaged with family, friends, community. But getting old in a youth oriented culture is not enjoyable.

Stereotypes of elderly - due to youth culture's influence, there are negative images of old people who have been defined as outliving their usefulness. Maintaining a high level of self-esteem is difficult with bad jokes, hatred, and intolerance at every turn.

The keys to happiness in late life:

1. Financial Security
2. Good Health
3. Family and Social Participation

Widowhood

• 17% women - 3.5% men by age 65
• 38% women - 7.5% men by age 75

Bowman, J., Colde., & Couchman, G. (1994). Midlife and older displaced workers a=A comparison of predisplacement and new earnings, J. Family & Economics Issues, 15 (2), 93-113.

Cheal, D. (1983). Intergenerational Family Transfers. JMF, (Nov), 8-5-813.

Cournoyer, R., and Mahalik, J. (1995). Cross sectional study of gender role conflict examining college-age and middle-age men. J. Counseling Psychology, 1, 11-19. Older men were less concerned with success, and had a greater ability to express themselves emotionally and affectionately. This group experienced greater stress as a result of health and monetary concerns, and family responsibilities.

Houser, B., & Berkman, S. (1984). Aging parent/mature child relationships. JMF, May, 295-299.

Lawton, L., Silerstein, M,. & Bengston, V. (1994). Affection, social content, and geographic distance between adult children and their parents. JMF, 56, 57-68. 80% of respondents indicated an emotionally close relationship with their parents. Fewer contacts were reported for children whose parents are divorced, as is childlessness, while less income increases contact with father.

Leigh, G.K. (1982). Kinship interaction over the family lie span. JMF, Feb, 197-208.

Levenson, R., Carstensen, L., & Gottman, J. (1993). Long-term marriage: Age, gender and satisfaction. Psychology of Aging, 8, 301-313. This is nice! Couples in old age disagreed less about money, religion, recreation, and children. they enjoyed talking about their children, grandchildren, things done together, dreams and vacations. No gender differences in these areas were found for old couples.

Lewis, V.G., & Borders, L.D. (1995). Life satisfaction of single middle-aged professional women. J. Counseling & Development, 74, 94-100.

Marks, N.F. (1995). Midlife marital status differences in social support relationships with adult children and psychological well-being. J. Family Issues, 16(5), 5-28. remarried and separated/divorced mothers and fathers are less likely t affirm parental financial obligations than first married parents. Remarriage generally disrupts financial support relationships with children and their fathers. Mothers were more involved emotionally with their children. Remarried parents were somewhat more likely to report no involvement. First married mothers were happier and less depressed.

McClelland, D & Fraz, C. (1992). Motivational and other sources of work accomplishments in midlife: A longitudinal study. J. Personality, 60, 4, 679-705.

Morgan, L.A. (1981). Economic change at mid-life widowhood: A longitudinal analysis. JMF, (Nov.), 899-907. Widowhood is not the major cause of poverty at midlife for women.

Thornton, A., Orbuch, T., & Axinn. W. (1995). Parent-child relationships during the transition to adulthood. J. Family Issues, 16(5), 538-564. A positive/supportive relationship exists between most parents and their children. Children rate their relationship with their mothers as more positive. P-C relationships generally improve as the child transits to adulthood, and the improvement is also greater for mother-child dyads. The quality of the P-C relationship in teenage years is an important factor. 

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