Traditional Family Life:
The institutions of society (i.e., Government, Religion, Family, Community, Economy) are dependent on each other to supplement the delivery of goods and services to members of society. When one institution changes fundamentally, all the other institutions are affected.
The Economy, the most powerful institution, changed at the turn of the century, moving people from rural and agricultural work to urban/factory work. It changed again in the late l960s, from a labor intensive factory model to one of Information/Services. This means people don't need big muscles to work at most jobs - they need super sharp social and intellectual skills - Thus, women and men were immediately equalized in terms of their innate abilities to perform paid work.
Because of fairly massive changes in our society - its values, traditions, and economic philosophies - Times have Changed. The Times today are about unconventional living arrangements
Changing Sex roles and the Man-Woman Crisis.
Early on - the children were socialized into very strict gender roles
- boys did masculine things, girls did feminine things.
| Male Gender Orientation | Female Gender Orientation |
| Bread winner
Outwardly oriented Protector |
Home Maker
Inwardly oriented Protected |
The results are:
-people who are confused about the way to go about initiating relationships
-families where all the adults work outside the home, leaving children
to develop on their own.
Single-Parent Families
Single Parent Families may occur through: Divorce or Death of a spouse,
and the few who decide to have or adopt children but not be married.
The number of single parent families is growing even while the number of children in the country has decreased. Between 1970 and 1985 there are 7 million fewer children under 18, but 6 million more children are living with single parents.
In a child's lifetime, he or she has a 50% chance of having only one parent to love them, to see to their needs, and to pay their way.
This is directly tied to the high divorce rate, and because of irresponsible boys and girls conceiving children without financial means.
Regarding Children's Needs (LIVING IN AN INEFFECTIVE HOME WITH LOTS OF CONFLICT AND SADNESS IS WORSE THAN LIVING IN A SINGLE PARENT HOME.
It may appear to the casual observer that minority families are inept.
Keep in mind that Poverty is the root cause of almost all
of the problems encountered by nonwhite families as a group.
IN fact, when we "control" for income statistically, poor families have the exact same "symptoms" as "most" non-white families. The reverse is true for rich (middle, uppermiddle class) black families - they have the same demographics as rich white families.
So, by and large, these are issues of poverty, not race or ethnicity.
For further reading on this topic:
Interracial Couples - Interestingly, the text makes the claim that 98 percent of Americans marry within their own racial group. This is ridiculous since the racial boundaries referred to have been crossed so many times.
There are three very broad racial categories:
Mongoloid (Asian) Negroid (African) Caucasoid (Western European)
Historically, every time the people's of the earth waged war on each other, there has been widespread miscegenation, (not misogynation - the hatred of women), to the extent that: nobody really knows which racial category to which they belong. Part french, part spanish, part indian, part negro, part Laotian, part ?????????whatever. As Americans, our pedigrees are a bit mixed up.
For me and my sweetie pie to be: she is Catholic Hungarian and Protestant Polish, while I am Commanche, French-Irish, Spanish-German, and Baptist.
While we are likely to be attracted to those who are "like us", we are also attracted to those who are around us at the time we enter into the pubertal/social/cognitive conspiracy that nature brings against us to go forth and multiply.
Interracial couples have more difficulty in feeling accepted by their own families and by society in general.
Homosexual Couples
Types of Families two people living as a family who may or may not have:
Among homosexual males and females, long term relationships lately have become just as stable and committed as heterosexual ones. That is - gays are just a little more likely to have relationships that fail as are the "normal" crowd of heterosexual marrieds, due primarily to social rejection of the relationship.
There was a time prior to the Eighties - that some male homosexuals
appeared to be quite promiscuous, with sex partners running into double
digits. This was true of heterosexual promiscuity as well.
However, it is a statistical fact that today - homosexuals who are
interested in long term relationships are just as likely to work at maintaining
such a relationship as are heterosexuals with the same interests. Just
as likely - promiscuous heterosexuals are just as likely as homosexuals
who are promiscuous to fail at relationships over time and have a series
of them.
Homophobia - irrational fear of homosexuality leads to derogatory comments, hatred in public places, and physical violence perpetrated on homosexuals of both genders. The Levels of Gay Bashing are increasing. 9
Other Alternative Marriage Patterns
A Note About Normality: The only way to talk about "normal" behavior or "normal" activities that makes sense is to refer to Statistical Normality - What "most" people" do, What Most think. Of course it is possible to think of moral and ethical belief systems that guide our behavior and thinking; however, these are very private and very personal and do not necessarily include anyone but ourselves. In the sense of statistics - most people - 96% - find themselves in a long term, heterosexual, one man, one woman relationship.
There have always been-since the time we have been taking notice - Those in our society who find ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES more appealing than the normal way of living.
There have always been those who choose homosexual relationships, group or communal relationships, or some other approach. Recently, given the global transition we seem to be going through, such "fringe" relationships seem to get more print space, or headlines, than in the past. So they seem more prevalent. They are probably more accepted today, just as cohabiting couples are more accepted than in the past.
So the first "alternative" to heterosexual marriage is Cohabitation, coming in the chapter on Singlehood.
Open Marriages - the O'Neills wrote a book in 1972 - based on their experiences living an open marriage. By this they meant that their personal relationship could be treasured and special even though they shared their lives with others - married or not. In their view, one person could be better able to meet the other's emotional, social, economic, and sexual needs if they were free to explore these same aspects of life with others. Quickly, Open Marriage came to be known as a "sexually open one".
The O'Neills divorced in 1975 - and wrote book about the failure of the open marriage concept in their case.
Communal Marriages - another alternative form is the commune. Communal living arrangements come in a variety of forms. There are no organized group marriages in the U.S. - where the male group "marries" the female group. Almost all communes are heterosexual in nature and monogamous.
In the 1960's and 70's some "family groups" were formed - such as the Merry Pranksters and the Family Dog in San Francisco. These arrangements lasted only a few years and were organized around the drugs and psychedelic music subculture. Also, according to a few of the members of these communal families, things weren't as joyous and wonderful as media has led us to believe. One woman noted that hepatitis and other diseases were rampant. fathers often left the group (and their children). "How'd we get along? Food Stamps, man!"
Today most communes share in the joined labor and economic efforts of the members. Childcare is shared, each person works outside the group and contributes paychecks to the "family income". Many of these groups have a religious orientation as well, ranging from fundamentalist Christians to Bhuddist and Hindu oriented faiths. There are group sings and prayer sessions as well.
Forward to Theory and Research Review