I am assuming that everyone agrees that talking about a subject is pretty harmless. Sometimes people are a little anxious about this part of the course. But if we treat the subject scientifically,
we will be fine.

For Openers, Sexuality is a concept that has far reaching consequences, aside from any moral or ethical ones (not that morality is unimportant). Who is having sex and what is the history of the behavior?

Sexuality in Dating: Percent Sexually Active Among All Teenagers (ages 16-20) in:

Statistics from Public Opinion Surveys:

• 56% had first time sex at ages 16-19.
• 75% had more than one sexual partner.
• 55% reported sleeping with someone on the 1st date.
• 48% said sex is very important in their life.
• 86% want sex more than once a week.

• 6% leave
• 19% would seek out other lovers

• 66% feel positive about their sexual performance
• 40% sometimes want intercourse without cuddling
• 72% sometimes want cuddling and foreplay without intercourse

At about 11 - 12 years of age, a little earlier for girls, a little later for boys, the thyroid gland sends messages to the sex organs (testes and ovaries) to begin hormone production.
This causes their bodies to take on different characteristics known as:
Secondary Sex Characteristics:

• Androgen/Testosterone rich bodies (males) develop more hair distributed over their bodies, deeper voices, an adams apple, smaller breasts and buttocks, greater upper body strength in general. the ability to maintain penile erections & the ability to ejaculate
• Estrogen rich bodies (females) develop rounded shoulders, hips, & breasts widened pelvic structure softer voices, only a little deeper than childhood the ability to produce ovum through the process of menses
• Males have genitals openly displayed when naked (a design feature to aid in the production of sperm).
• Females have cleverly managed to hide their genitals inside their bodies (a design feature to aid in the production of ovum).

1. Continuous sexuality - year round receptivity
2. Variety - variations in activity and partners
3. Continuity - need to keep sexual activity continuously steady levels.
This has implications for marketing, morality, governmental sanctions, and moral outrages.

Kinsey (beginning in 1937 to the present as the Kinsey Institute) presented information about behavior (practices) across racial, ethnic and social class boundaries. This information was obtained through interviews only.

Hunt (1974) added more detail, but still only employed questionnaire data.

Masters and Johnson (1966) actually did laboratory studies on the Human Sexual Response Cycle- measured various physiological variables before, during and after sexual activity, on volunteers. Initially, M&J begin their studies using college aged males and commercial sex workers. Shortly after their first report, they began using ordinary men and women in their studies. M&J actually used invasive probes and cameras to document the Human Sexual Response (more on that later).

Successful sexual communication, from the sex researchers, is one of the chief barriers to open sexual expression between lovers. Rigid values is another. Since many Americans were socialized to think of sex in the context of a wide range of moral and health issues, we may not always find the person who matches exactly our personal expectations about sex without adequate means to discuss our sexual needs and desires,

There are some gender differences in the way men vs. women think about sex.

Women tend to refer to sex as "doing it", "going all the way", and "sleeping together" to keep from explicitly saying the words. Men tend to make up an array of graphically explicit terms to communicate the concept of sexual intercourse and related activities.

Similarly, men tend to think of sex as an activity, while women tend to think of sex as a state of being, as when a relationship obtains a sexual component.

There are at minimum two ways to achieve complete sexual satisfaction in marriage:

• Having well matched sexual expectations in the beginning with our partner. or
• Having the capability of negotiating mutually satisfying sets of expectations about sex.

If a couple is happy and satisfied with their overall relationship, then sex is probably no problem.
However, it is interesting how fragile the marital relationship can be. It can stand very little introspection. By compartmentalizing 'areas of satisfaction and dissatisfaction" we can begin to chip away at the overall relationship.

Frequency of intercourse is highest among newlyweds and steadily decreases over the duration of a marriage. Singles have sex less often than marrieds, on the average.

The Human Sexual Response Cycle

There are four stages to the HSC: Excitement/Arousal - Plateau - Orgasm - Resolution
Males have one additional stage - the Refractory Period, which is the time between ejaculation and the ability to sustain an erection again. Again, there are very real gender differences in the way men and women experience the HSC.

For women - the capability of multiple orgasms and the ability to respond to sexual stimulation sooner after orgasm are two differences. Women tend to take a little longer to become Aroused, and the time from Excitement to Plateau often takes longer than for men ( a few minutes longer ).

The Excitement Phase - or foreplay - wait!!! What should we have done before we begin this Phase???? That's right, considered our contraceptive options and chosen the one that best suits our relationship.

Physiological Response - arousal consists of penile erection in the male and vaginal vasocongestion (lubrication) in the female. This is a basic response to the human species (and a pleasurable one too). The beginnings of cardiovascular increases continues as individual is stimulated. Often partners experience a sex flush (beats three of a kind).

What do Americans find sexually stimulating? Sensory stimulation - sight, hearing, aromas, tastes, and TOUCHING . As long as the condition is culturally defined as a sex one, it will be stimulating.

1. Touching (tactile stimulation) is the all time favorite form of sexual stimulation. In some cultures, gentle stroking of the genitals is performed when children are fussy (the child's not the parents').

a. The human body has Erogenous zones - in the order of concentration n of nerve endings (thus the higher the sensitivity) - genitals (specifically clitoris and penis), breasts, lips, interior of the mouth, inner thighs, ears, and the bottoms of the feet. Foot jobs? To induce Excitement: For starters, it is a good idea to begin at the bottom of the list and move up toward the top. This insures some degree of symmetry? Nah - too much stimulation too early is painful. Smootching too.
2. Visual stimulation - to show the influence of culture, early studies of the effect of visual stimulation showed women to be much less aroused by visuals - pictures, films, body types - than men. More recent studies are finding less difference.

3. Sexy Sounds - particularly talking and "paralanguage" are sources of stimulation, if performed in indirect ways. If a couple has difficulty talking about sex, paralanguage is a way to communicate your likes and dislikes during foreplay/exci tement.
"There, ahhhhh, yes, yes, yes, Oh god, Oh Ronnie, Oh Pam! Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhaaaaaaahhh. You get the idea.
Also soft lighting and Luther Vandross albums help set the scene..

4. Smell and taste - cleanliness is the best aphrodisiac. Deodorants, mouthwashes , colognes, are methods of attraction and sources for sexual stimulation. Soap and water - the taste of clean skin!

Normal aging slows the arousal capacity in humans, but not so you'd notice. Aging doesn't come close to destroying it. Blood pressure problems, for example may contribute to impotence in men. Aphrodisiacs are cleanliness, good health, adequate hormone distribution, and a loving, considerate, active, and curious partner.

There is no known formula for insuring excitement, therefore one must be sensitive to one's partner and play it by ear (or toe or thumb or inner thigh). IMPORTANT to remember - during the excitement and plateau stages - the clitoris (women) and penis (men) are delicate little things, and can be easily over- stimulated when directly massaged.

Since we can exclude mind reading, GUIDANCE - verbal and nonverbal - is the Best (probably the only) way to make sex work really well - almost every time.

Physiological symptoms: General muscle tension (myotonia), Penis fully erect, vagina well lubricated, labia swollen and ready for penetration. It's show time! WE ARE PRIMED FOR SERIOUS SEXUAL INTERACTION!!! This is the thrashing about / heavy petting portion of sex. It is here, in the Plateau Phase, that a Mister Wizard Slogan comes to mind:

When it comes to moving from the Plateau Stage to the Orgasm stage, Friction is our Best Friend. Direct stimulation of the genitals is most likely to bring orgasm the quickest, but that is not always the point. We aren't in a race here, unless we are teenagers sitting in our parents living room.

1. Sexual positions and their functions

a. Face-to-Face Man Above - the missionary position---traditional and the most popular in Hollywood, but the least likely position for female orgasm. 11% NEVER use this one.

b. Face-to-Face Woman Above - the most likely intercourse position for female orgasm - she has so much freedom to guide her movements with two hundred pounds of manhood BENEATH her. Also allows the woman a more active part. 75% couples use this one.

c. Face-to-Face Side by Side - freedom of movement for both partners. Less chance for muscle cramps, more relaxed position for maintaining the Plateau Phase. Less likelihood of achieving orgasm quickly.

d. Rear entry - Not on women's orgasm top 10 list - is useful for couples attempting to become pregnant because penetration is maximized and sperm have a shorter distance to travel. Another pregnancy potential optimizer is use the f-f man above position and slip a pillow or two under the woman's bottom.

2. Alternative means of Satisfying Sexual Needs: Before you can learn to love another you have to love yourself.
a. All sex researchers and sex therapists agree that Masturbation is a useful activity. Some folks disagree. Here's something to think about.
• 66% of women in 1950's were masturbating
• 80% of women in the 1980's were masturbating
• 70% of married men in the 1980's were masturbating
• 66% in the bathroom
• 82% in the bedroom
• 14% at work
• 75% use erotic literature
It is the least EMBARRASSING way to come to grips with your sexuality. You can learn about yourself in privacy. Becoming orgasmic requires learning & experience - self-knowledge. It is completely impossible to contract STD's through Masturbation - blisters maybe, but not AIDS.

You can do this all by yourself when:

• -you don't have a reliable sweetie pie or don't want one at the moment (school, work, other activities)...
• -your sweetie is far away and you want to be faithful.
• -your sweetie is in the hospital (aged)
• -your sweetie is real mad at you and spits at you when you are near.

b. Mutual Masturbation - when intercourse is not desired for what ever reason - to add variety and pizzazz!

c. Oral-Genital Stimulation - fellatio and cunnilingus
Redbook Magazine Survey - largely young married women is the readership

• 75% of all sexually active Men perform cunnilingus
• 43% of all sexually active Women perform fellatio
• 34% of the women who perform fellatio report it enjoyable
• STD's are possible.

Physiological response - a pulsating, spasmodic release of sexual tension. While the genitals are most affected with sensations, the entire body can be visibly shaken. Loss of voluntary muscle control. Blood rate, heart rate, breathing rate all reach a peak.

A. The female orgasm consists of 5 to 12 involuntary contractions (8 tenths of a second apart) of the sphincter muscle that rings the front third of the vagina. A 12 contraction orgasm is known as a real big one, the average orgasm is about a 6.

B. The male orgasm consists of two events:

• 1. the rhythmic contraction of the muscle at the base of the penis (parallel's the female orgasm).
• 2. a series of contractions of internal organs that expulse seminal fluid.
C. Right after orgasm, in both sexes, clitoris and tip of the penis are extremely sensitive to friction. In the extreme, it hurts more than it feels good to continue. Timing is everything. Thus, simultaneous orgasm is more of a rare experience than a realistic goal. This is where generosity becomes an endearing quality in one's partner. While everyone is responsible for their own orgasm, having a sex partner who will extend certain courtesies is a pretty exciting prospect.

Physiological Symptoms: organs & body return to normal status.  Traditionally the position for sexual activity has been the missionary position - male-on-top.  This position, coupled with the female's heritage for non-enjoyment of sex, and the female's historically passive role in lovemaking means that She expends less energy, on the average during sex than he does. Thus: The complaint that "He gets through with me and then rolls over and goes to sleep. I want to be held and cuddled."

(Refractory period - Males Only) - the time between ability to achieve another orgasm. Females are capable of multiple orgasms.

However, women's sexual response proved to be more challenging to graph. It seems that women's response fell into at least three categories:



Interestingly, any given female subject could respond to sexual stimuli along any of the three paths - depending on a myriad of factors - including the feeling she had for her lover and her ability to focus on the event.

Sexual Problems

How much sex is enough? Surveys tell us that frequency of sexual activity seems to vary by age. On the average for:

• Ages 18-25 12 times a month
• Ages 25-34 8-11 times
• Ages 35-45 Less than 8 times
• Over 45 Years Less than 4 times
Sexual Dysfunctions
The number one sexual dysfunction, as it turns out, is usually a nonsexual marital problem.
The couple just isn't getting along - they are angry or disappointed in each other in nonsexual ways. Sex therapists always look at the relationship first.

However, most sexual problems not related to the quality of the relationship tend to stem from inexperience and lack of education. Sometimes sexual dysfunction has its root cause in past experience, instances of sexual abuse, or psychological problems from past relationships.
They may also be physiological in nature. The five most frequently cited sexual dysfunctions are:

1. Problems in arousal - communication problems, needs haven't been met satisfactorily in the past - armored feelings against arousal. Also mismatched sexual scripts with no communication. Also loss of affection in other areas of the marriage.

2. Premature Ejaculation - going from arousal directly to orgasm - mostly a male problem - anxiety and inexperience is the common cause, and fear of failure is the culprit of continued problems. Without the ability to talk fairly frankly, solution is difficult. There are some techniques used for teaching control, see a sex therapist or other qualified instructor. PE is easily remedied - and widely encountered, especially among younger males.

3. Vaginismus - female-involuntary contraction of the outer vaginal muscles, making penetration very difficulty and painful. Remedy is patience, understanding, and nondemanding parctice AND a penetration technique: slowly and gently inserting 1 finger, then two, then three.

4. Impotence - inability of male to achieve or maintain erection - if psychological it is easily detected and treated. If physiological, will require medical intervention - blood pressure, diabetes.

5. Female Orgasmic Dysfunction - similar to premature ejaculations in the cure. Symptoms are an inability to achieve orgasm and a concomitant disinterest in sex. Other Issues in Sexuality

50% of all men currently married admit to having cheated at least once.
25% of all women now married have cheated at least once.
25% of all men make it a practice to cheat
2.5% of all women make it a practice to cheat
25% of the women who cheated loved the man
63% of women who cheated repeated the experience more than once.

• - cheating decreases with age for men
• - cheating increases with age for women
• - 50% males at almost any age prior to 35
• - Married women in their twenties, are more likely than their husbands to cheat.
• - Males tend to isolate the incidence
• - Women encounter the adultery with more of their lives

• - a combination of stimulation & excitement
• - desire tinged with guilt
• - an emotionally heightening effect on both.
• - Requires conscious planning

Reasons for Cheating: Hedonism, Variation of sexual experience, Curiosity, Search for emotional satisfaction, a need for romance, friendship, rebellion, retaliation, and sometimes at Spouse's encouragement

Health Risks of Sex in the 90's - The big news is that Sex in the 90's is just like sex in the 70's, 60's, 50's, and 40's. That is - we go about having sex in the same ways.  What has changed are the consequences of having sex, particularly sex with persons that you do not know very well.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases: (a.k.a. "Venereal Diseases) There are about 26 different diseases, rashes, and infections known to be transmitted through intercourse, heavy petting, and/or oral sex. Most are neither dangerous or life-threatening.

Here are a few of the most common and/or dangerous to your health:

AIDS is cause by the Human Imunodeficiency Virus (HIV).
It primarily affects you by making you unable to fit other diseases.
These other diseases can be lethal over a lifetime of infection.

Like almost all other diseases of all non-hereditary types, AIDS and other STD's are completely democratic. It doesn't matter who you are, but WHAT YOU DO THAT COUNTS.

The HIV virus can enter the body through the vagina, penis, rectum, mouth, through ruptures or tears in any part of the bloodstream, through any mucous membrane.

No matter what you may have heard the AIDS virus easy to avoid. For a time during the hysteria about AIDS, there were questions about whether or not the virus could be carried by mosquitos that had just feasted on an HIV positive person. STD's are hard to transmit! You don't become infected from clothes, telephones, toilet seats, kissing, saliva, sweat, tears, or from giving blood.

The AIDS virus is transmitted through:

• 1. unsafe sexual activities
• 2. sharing of needles used for injection
• 3. the birth canal to babies of infected mothers before or during birth.

• 1. Sharing drug needles or syringes.
• 2. Anal sex with or without a condom
• 3. Vaginal or oral sex with someone who does 1 and 2 above
• 4. Vaginal or oral sex with someone you don't know well (a pickup date for example)
• 5. Vaginal or oral sex with someone you know has several sex partners.
• 6. Unprotected sex with with an infected person.

• 1. Abstinence - not having sex at all.
• 2. Sex with one mutually faithful, uninfected partner.
• 3. No shooting drugs
• 4. Understanding the mechanics of "Safe Sex".

• 1. Sex with one mutually faithful partner who is not infected.
• 2. Always use a combination of a Condom, Spermicide (Nonoxynol-9, specifically), and a nonpetroeum-based lubricant, when in doubt. When in doubt means if you are ABSOLUTELY SURE that you and your sex partner do not have the AIDS virus.
• 3. Never allow blood serum, seminal fluid, or vaginal secretions to pass inside the bodies of you and your partner.

• kissing
• telling sexy stories to each other
• kissing (this is an activity that deserves a double mention!)
• strip monopoly
• love poker
• skinny dipping
• dancing at the moon palace
• playing nude gourmet restaurant
• playing dress up (I'm too sexy for my hat!)

Of all the contraceptive technology, only condoms provide any protection against STD's.
Keep in mind that this protection is minimal, at best, and must be used every single time.

How Do You Approach the Subject of STD's with Potential Sex Partners?
First, be selective in your choices for sex partners.
Know them well and know their history.
Wait to begin a sexual relationship until you are ready - then only proceed after all the contraceptive choices are discussed (this will mean condoms for most of you!).
Think of it this way:
You are about to engage in one of the most intimate activities known to Western Culture.
Do you really want to have sex with someone unwilling to use a condom?
No glove - no love!
Talking about safe sex requires the same trust that engaging in meaningful relationships requires.
Telling someone you'd die for them is a dramatic gesture, but usually a completely needless demand.

Contraceptives
There are Four Methods of Contraception:

1. Abstinence - no sexual activity with allows sperm and ovum to meet.
2. Chemical - reproductive system is fooled into thinking it is pregnant, or sperm is killed on contact.
3. Barrier-a physical barrier is placed between sperm & ovum.
4. Action - interruptions in the normal reproductive functioning through physical means.

Abortion is not considered a form of birth control.

Abstinence - Though not particularly popular in these days of instant gratification, abstaining from some (or all) forms of sexual activity is being rediscovered by many. Usually abstinence is not even mentioned as a situational lifestyle. Some people are actually returning to abstinence after their initial forays into the sexual frontier.

Chemical Methods
Oral Contraceptives
Combination Pill - 99% effective - Cost $107 a year plus $65 for visits to the doctor.
Technology - high levels of synthetic hormones disallow the production of a viable ovum. The reproductive system "thinks" it is pregnant. Also thickens cervical mucus - no swimming.
Advantages - provides constant dosages of estrogen and progestogen - lowers the risk of ovarian cancers and tubal pregnancy in some users. May ease menstrual cramps and offers some protection against rheumatoid arthritis.
Disadvantages - May cause weight gain, swollen breasts, light or absent periods, nausea, headaches, depression - may delay resumption of ovulation after stopping pill. Should not be taken by women with a history of breast or endometrial cancer, high blood pressure, heart attacks, stroke, liver disease, women who are breast-feeding, women prone to blood clots, women over 35 and who smoke, or are over 40.

Spermicidal, often placed in carriers such as vaginal sponges, suppositories, jellies and creams.
Alone, spermicides do a pretty good job of reducing/preventing pregnancy if used as directed. However they offer no real protection against the sexually transmitted disease. Spermicides are best used in combination with condoms.

Action Methods
Intrauterine Devices (IUD) 97% effective - $90 for device, $65 a year for doctor visits.
Technology - made of plastic or copper/steel, the device is placed in the uterus inhibiting the implantation of a fertilized egg. The Uterine wall is irritated, making cervical mucus hostile to sperm.
Advantages - once inserted, requires no further action allowing spontaneous lovemaking.
Disadvantages - Increased risk of tubal pregnancy, infertility and pelvic inflammatory disease, may cause increased menstrual flow and cramps, possible perforation of uterine wall, partial or complete expulsion. Must be replaced yearly.

Barrier Methods
Diaphragm - 98% effective - $170 for the device, doctor's visits and spermicide.
Technology - prevents passage of sperm into female's reproductive tract. Should be used in combination with spermicides.
Advantages - fully reversible with no side effects.
Disadvantages - spermicide must be reapplied for each episode of intercourse, some women find it difficult to insert and unesthetic, may become dislodged during sex. Periodic refitting by doctor. Some women are allergic to rubber or spermicide.

Condom - 98% effective - cost $3 to $6 a dozen
Technology - prevents passage of sperm to female. Advantages - available without a prescription at low cost. Not side effects, protects against AIDS and other STD's. Disadvantages - lovemaking must be interrupted to use, reduces sexual pleasure in some men.

Sterilization
Tubal Ligation - 100% effective - requires surgery ($1000). This is a permanent situation, although reversals are possible.
Vasectomy - 100% effective - requires surgery ($350). permanent. 5. OTHER METHODS (NOT ADVISED)!

Not mentioned as a form of contraception are:
Natural Family Planning (a.k.a. the Rhythm method) calendar based on the woman's menstrual cycle, basal body temperature, cervical mucous observation - 50-70% effective - no cost - requires abstinence during woman's fertile period.
Advantages - does not violate religious rules against artificial birth control, requires no medication or devices.
Disadvantages - restricts sexual activity to specific time of woman's menstrual cycle, much less reliable, requires strict discipline from couples.
Withdrawal - highly unreliable - sperm may pe present in fluids secreted before ejaculation.

Innovations in Birth Control:

• The cervical cap is a barrier-type device that resembles a mini-diaphragm.

Covers the cervix to block the passage of sperm into female's reproductive tract.
• Long lasting injections of synthetic progestogen.
• Norplant, six tiny rods that are implanted in the upper arm, delivers a steady low dose of progestogen.
• Vaginal ring that contains progestogen encircles a woman's cervix, releasing - three months.

Apt, C., & Hurlbert, D.F., 91993). The sexuality of women in physically abusive marriages: A comparative study. J. Family Violence, 8, 57-69. Abused wives expressed lower levels of intimacy and compatibility, sexual arousal, greater dissatisfaction and negative disposition regarding sex than non-abused women. Abused women also reported a higher frequency of sexual intercourse than nonabused women.

Call, V., Sprecher, S., & Schwartz, P. (1995). The incidence and frequency of marital sex in a national sample. JMF, 57, 639-652. 25% of the sample skipped the question, and the percentage of those who did not answer increased with age of respondent. Age is the strongest negative predictor of frequency of sex., followed by marital satisfaction, and remarriage. Among religious factors, only being Catholic decreased frequency of sex.

Carroll, Leo (1988). JMF, 50(ma7), 405-411. Nearly half the sample claim that concern about AIDS has affected their behavior. However, claimed effects are not associated with actual behavior.

Donnelly, D.A. (1993). Sexually inactive marriages. J. Sex Research, 30(2), 171-179. 16% of a sample of over 6000 respondents reported being sexually inactive within their marriage. Variables related to inactivity were: lower marital happiness, fewer arguments about sex, age, and increasing numbers of children. For women, physical violence was associated with sexual activity. For men, the presence of preschoolers, length of marriage, and poor health were associated with inactivity.

Henderson-King, D.H., and Veroff, J. (1994) Sexual satisfaction and marital well-being in the first years of marriage. J. social & Personal Relationships, Voll. 11, 509-534. feelings of affirmation increased sexual satisfaction while marital tension decreased sexual satisfaction.

Marsiglio, W., & Donnelly, D. (1991). Sexual relationsh in later life: A national study of married persons. J. Gerontology, 46, 338-344. Sexual relations decrease with age. Health and spouse's health affected the frequency of sex, as did respondent's feelings of self-worth.

Morokoff, P.J., & Gillilland, R. (1991). Stress, sexual functioning, and marital satisfaction. J. Sex Research, 30, 43-53. Onset of erectile dysfunction occurred faster and earlier for unemployed men, regardless of the level of general marital happiness. No relationship between unemployment and dysfunction was found for women. Daily hassles were positively related to increased sexual desire.

Oggins, J., Leber, D., and Veroff, J. (1993). Race and gender differences in black and white newlyweds' perceptions of sexual and marital relations. J. Sex Research, 30, 152-160. Reports of sexual enjoyment were associated with perceptions of care and affirmation in the marriage for women more than men. White wives were more likely to associate feelings of sexual enjoyment with feelings of care for their partners. Black wives positive sexual relation perceptions were associated with perceptions of enjoying relaxing times and an exciting life with their partner.

Perper, T. and Weis, D. (1987). Proceptive and rejective strategies of U.S. and Canadian college women. J. Sex Research, 23(4), 455-480. You just have to read this one. Good study.

Reiss, I.L. (1981). Some observations on ideology and sexuality in America. JMF, may, 271-283.

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