Falling in Love


Love's Dimensions include: Types of Love-like Emotions
Researchers are fairly consistent in reporting that a it is very rare for a person to have intense feelings of love for more than one person at a time.

Styles of Loving: (from the Greeks)

There seems to be general gender difference in the way men and women conceive of love: The Triangular Theory of Love: Commitment/Passion/Intimacy
  1. Nonlove absence of all three
  2. Liking intimacy only
  3. Infatuation passion only
  4. Empty love commitment only
  5. Romantic love intimacy and passion
  6. Fatuous love passion and commitment
  7. Companionate love intimacy and commitment
  8. Consummate love all three components in equal parts.  This is the one we all want to nurture!
Paradoxes of Romantic Love Consummate Love has little of any of these qualities. However, everyone wants and needs some romance! sooooooooooooooooo ...Conditions Favorable to Romantic Love are:

Annotated References

Aube, J., & Koestner, R. (1995). Characteristics and relationship adjustment: Another look at similarity-complimentarity hypotheses. Journal of Personality, 63(4). Couples did not become more similar on gender characteristics over a 15 month period of cohabitation or marriage.

Bailey, R.C. & Czuchry, M. (1994). Psychological kinship fulfillment and dating attraction. Social Behavior and Personality, 22, 157-192. Fulfilling kinship needs with non-familial relationships may illicit a feeling that people have married their opposite sex parent. When both male and female subjects felt a high degree of kinship toward their dating partner, they also expressed more love and liking of their partner.

Buss, D.M. (1994). The stratgies of falling in love. American Scientist, 4(27), 238-240. World-wide, men and women do not differ in their need for long-term relationships. Men reported a significant greater interest in short-term relationships than are women. Men desired a greater number of sex partners (18 over a lifetime compared to 4-5 for women).

Felmlee, D.H. (1994). Who's on top? Power in romantic relationships. Sex Roles, 31, 275-295. 46% of the sample viewed the power distribution in their relationships as being equal. When inequalities in the power distribution were admitted, both genders were more likely to attribute the upper hand to men. While less than half saw their relationships as equal, the majority thought their relationships were fair, assuming some degree of male dominance to be preferred.

McElhaney, L.J., (1992). Dating and courtship in the later years. Generations, 16(3), 21-23. Activity level and energy is important in the ability to meet new partners, as is general health ability to drive, organization membership, and sibling contact.

Murstein, B.I., and Brust, R.G. (1985). Humor and interpersonal attraction. Journal of Personality Assessment, 49 (6), 637-640. Humor is more associated with general affiliative attraction than romantic attraction. Compatibility in sense of humor, rather than character of humor, is more important here.

Stets, J.E. (1003). Control in dating relationships. JMF, 55, 673-685. Control over one's dating partner is more common under conditions of low perspective taking and high conflict. Perspective taking increases in later stages of relationships due to greater familiarity with the other.

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