7400:441/541-001    Family Relationships: Middle & Later Years
Instructor: Prof. David Witt
Introduction to the Course and Overview
Family Relationships in the Middle and Later Years is our attempt to view typical individual and family relationships from midlife (about age 40) through to old age. The course will focus on demographic, economic, social, physical, and generational changes as well as relationships between and within family members. The diversity of aging in society will also be examined by race, social class and gender.

From the course objectives, we want to:

It is simplistic to assert that the U.S. Population is aging. It is growing in all sectors but the population aged 65+ is growing faster than any other.


The reasons for this kind of growth stem from a few sources: the large segment of the population born between 1946 and 1965 (the baby boomers), incredible advances in health care and survival rates for all
Americans, and our willingness to view sections of the population as market demographics.  The implications for this kind of rapid growth among the older populations are evident.

The Types of Families in American Culture:

  1. Nuclear Family - a mom who stays home a dad who provides for the family (Money) kids who go to school and are active all living in a house of their own. Less than 20%
  2. Single Parent Families - either unmarried women having and keeping children, unmarried women having children and giving them to other family members to rear, or women working and caring for children after divorce. The fastest growing family form in the United States today (about 21% of the total).
  3. Stepfamilies - reconstituted (custodial parent remarries someone with no children). -blended when two custodials remarry -binuclear families - when a divorced couple remarries others (approximately 15%)..
  4. Two-Job Families - Everybody works We haven't kept up with family matters nor made arrangements for the children (nearly 45%)
The Family is responsible for the production and socialization of children, and is the first line of defense against deviant behavior. The family is the first place that children learn morality and ethic.
Thus, the consequences of ineffective socialization of children spell difficult times for society.  Poorly parented children will not develop marketable, productive skills, nor will they develop the abilities necessary to relate to others in the society in nondestructive ways, nor will they possess an orientation consistent with ethical and moral judgments. Children will be unhappy and society will crumble.

Race is only somewhat of a factor in all this. Single parent families are more the norm among African Americans, according to the many marriage and family textbooks, although other races have been catching up. Often, though not a foregone conclusion, the poverty that exists among single parent families is a big factor in all the other social problems that we see.  The truth is that the cause of poverty for nearly twenty-three percent of our nation's children is divorce, not being of any particular racial or ethnic descent. Divorce is the culprit because about half of all court awarded child support goes unpaid by fathers to children.  So while Americans are fond of saying how important family life is to them ("about 61% of Americans respond that they feel family life is "the most important element in my life"), people always respond favorably to questions like this.  The reality of our lives is a little different. There are other indicators that tell a story that departs from the Ideal.

If family life is so important to us all -- central to who we are and why we are here -- then an important question ought to be easily answered: "What do you know about your great-grandmother?" "Your great-grandfather?"  The point is that a single life here on earth is of a relatively short duration, and the person who lives a life may not be remembered for long after they are gone.  What one does with their life is of great importance for those who remain here after we leave. If this sound like a value judgment, it is partly. It is also a logical approach to the question of the meaning of a single life. The sooner one realizes his or her importance to the rest of the human race, the sooner that person can get about the task of influencing the course of human events.

At any given point in life - over a span of about 80 years, an individual has the opportunity, given the quality of his or her social network, to learn from others and to teach others what they know.

                                                                                        Birth - Young Child - Teenager - Young Adult - Mid-Life - Late Life - Death
                                                                            Birth - Young Child - Teenager - Young Adult - Mid-Life - Late Life - Death
                                                                Birth - Young Child - Teenager - Young Adult - Mid-Life - Late Life - Death
                                                   Birth - Young Child - Teenager - Young Adult - Mid-Life - Late Life - Death
                                    Birth - Young Child - Teenager - Young Adult - Mid-Life - Late Life - Death
                        Birth - Young Child - Teenager - Young Adult - Mid-Life - Late Life - Death
            Birth - Young Child - Teenager - Young Adult - Mid-Life - Late Life - Death

I was born in 1948, so I'm likely to die in 2028, if not sooner. At every point along the lifecycle, I've had the opportunity to influence, and be influenced by, those around me. As I grew and developed because of those interested in my life, I began to accrue a debt that I immediately began paying back to those individuals who could, or would, benefit from what I'd learned so far.

Erikson's Epigenetic Principle states the last three stages of adult development to be:

  1. young adulthood - intimacy vs. isolation - where we fall in love and marry.
  2. middle adulthood - generativity vs. stagnation - where we bear and rear our children
  3. late adulthood - integrity vs. despair - where we look back on our lives with concern that we've done a good job with the resources we've been given.
The Midlife Authenticity Crisis, as termed by Gail Sheehy, suggests that in middle to late life, one begins to question the meaning of having lived? We begin a process of self-examination of past-through the present, asking ourselves questions, such as: Are our dreams fulfilled?, Do people love us?, Have we achieved all we wanted?, Did we do right by our children, and are they doing well - the primary factor in resolving midlife crisis is the maintenance of positive relationships with friends and family.

Into midlife by 50, successful crisis resolution includes:

Adapting to late life

About 15-20% of the U.S. population (30-50 million) is 65 years old - 75% of the pop. will live past age 65. A popular theory in the 1970's - "Disengagement Theory" - suggested that moving out of the main stream wold benefit people as they aged.  In actuality, people do better by staying in the main stream, engaged with family, friends, community. Maintaining a high level of self-esteem is difficult with bad jokes, hatred, and intolerance at every turn. The keys to happiness in late life:

          1. Financial Security
          2. Good Health
          3. Family and Social Participation
While we can't always do a whole lot about 1 and 2, inclusion in the family and maintaining a friendship network is well within our grasp, and it means a healthier, longer, more enjoyable life.

Widowhood

Women outlive men by 7.5 years. Loss of spouse especially in later life is the most traumatic event after years of a lifestyle - sense of being lost.

Annotated References
Bowman, J., Colde., & Couchman, G. (1994). Midlife and older displaced workers a=A comparison of predisplacement and new earnings, J. Family & Economics Issues, 15 (2), 93-113.
Cheal, D. (1983). Intergenerational Family Transfers. JMF, (Nov), 8-5-813.
Cournoyer, R., and Mahalik, J. (1995). Cross sectional study of gender role conflict examining college-age and middle-age men. J. Counseling Psychology, 1, 11-19. Older men were less concerned with success, and had a greater ability to express themselves emotionally and affectionately. This group experienced greater stress as a result of health and monetary concerns, and family responsibilities.
Houser, B., & Berkman, S. (1984). Aging parent/mature child relationships. JMF, May, 295-299.
Lawton, L., Silerstein, M,. & Bengston, V. (1994). Affection, social content, and geographic distance between adult children and their parents. JMF, 56, 57-68. 80% of respondents indicated an emotionally close relationship with their parents. Fewer contacts were reported for children whose parents are divorced, as is childlessness, while less income increases contact with father.
Leigh, G.K. (1982). Kinship interaction over the family lie span. JMF, Feb, 197-208.
Levenson, R., Carstensen, L., & Gottman, J. (1993). Long-term marriage: Age, gender and satisfaction. Psychology of Aging, 8, 301-313. This is nice! Couples in old age disagreed less about money, religion, recreation, and children. they enjoyed talking about their children, grandchildren, things done together, dreams and vacations. No gender differences in these areas were found for old couples.
Lewis, V.G., & Borders, L.D. (1995). Life satisfaction of single middle-aged professional women. J. Counseling & Development, 74, 94-100.
Marks, N.F. (1995). Midlife marital status differences in social support relationships with adult children and psychological well-being. J. Family Issues, 16(5), 5-28. remarried and separated/divorced mothers and fathers are less likely t affirm parental financial obligations than first married parents. Remarriage generally disrupts financial support relationships with children and their fathers. Mothers were more involved emotionally with their children. Remarried parents were somewhat more likely to report no involvement. First married mothers were happier and less depressed.
McClelland, D & Fraz, C. (1992). Motivational and other sources of work accomplishments in midlife: A longitudinal study. J. Personality, 60, 4, 679-705.
Morgan, L.A. (1981). Economic change at mid-life widowhood: A longitudinal analysis. JMF, (Nov.), 899-907. Widowhood is not the major cause of poverty at midlife for women.
Thornton, A., Orbuch, T., & Axinn. W. (1995). Parent-child relationships during the transition to adulthood. J. Family Issues, 16(5), 538-564. A positive/supportive relationship exists between most parents and their children. Children rate their relationship with their mothers as more positive. P-C relationships generally improve as the child transits to adulthood, and the improvement is also greater for mother-child dyads. The quality of the P-C relationship in teenage years is an important factor. 
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